Notes on the center of the universe
Blue Note Records, quicksand, Dashboard Confessional, parkour and The Sopranos
I find myself once again re-writing this thing on a Sunday afternoon. Hopefully someday soon, I’ll adopt a more manageable and forgiving cadence, but until then, hello to the new folks and a very special ‘sup’ to a former flame that subscribed this week. For each of you, even you former flame, I am grateful.
This last week was one mired in a feeling of anxiousness. A level of anxiety that I couldn’t shake, to be frank. After the fourth or fifth kind gentleman on Hinge asked me “how’s your week?”, I finally realized they weren’t really interested in knowing and this was not an opportunity to discuss how strange it is that we can ride a high for a few weeks and all of a sudden be quite low, for no particular reason. I guess in the grand scheme of things, everything is pretty wonderful but that in this particular moment, life feels a bit moot.
Aptly, a friend shared this meme (I apologize for sending you to Pinterest) about quicksand that weirdly resonated because actual quicksand hasn’t been an issue — but metaphorical quicksand is a real threat to my life.
I consequently spent much of this week listening to music that most of you probably wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, so I apologize in advance for a number of the songs that made this week’s jam playlist.
For those of you with fragile ears, I found a cover of Post Malone’s Circles by Dashboard Confessional to lighten the mix. Plus this surprisingly funky number.
Speaking of covers, I remember watching the Blue Note Records documentary and realizing how significant covers used to be in the music industry. It’s unbelievable how much music, namely Rap, R&B and Hip Hop, pulls (to this day) from 1950’s and 60’s jazz. I’d like to one day write a more thoughtful piece into the use of black artists’ music by famous white musicians in the 90s, but for now just watch the documentary and throw back to this hidden cover (original, fast forward to 1:00 in). Lastly, enjoy some jazz, on me.
A Jewish factoid, explained in plain English.
Jewish garb edition: kippah
Also known as a yarmulke (pronounced yah-mah-kah), a kippah is a small hat or head covering that Jewish men wear. There are, as per usual with Judaism, a seemingly infinite number of scenarios in which one would wear a kippah, from eating and praying, to attending your cousin’s bat mitzvah. Simply put, covering your head is a sign of respect, which is kinda funny given that taking your hat off is generally the polite thing to do in Western culture. I wonder if Jews ever tip their kippahs?
Side note: there are apparently different types of kippahs in terms of size, color and material that indicate something about the person wearing them. The real question is, do Jewish rappers wear gold kippahs blinged out with diamonds? @lildicky
Musings I’ve enjoyed on the www last week.
First things first, the song’s I’ve mostly re-♥️’d and a few new ones that are much less terrifying. Once again, I’m sorry, but you should get to see every side of me, even the sad emo chick.
If last week’s email didn’t convince you to watch Totoro, this might. And a few more for posterity. #Bernie
This hilarious thread of animals interrupting wildlife photographers. Lol
A friend told me that he enjoyed this newsletter because the tone is just me speaking, and coincidentally at that exact moment I was reading this profile of Jay Caspian Kang who has some opinions about profiles and thoughts on writing that resonated with me.
“I think there’s a little bit too much of people who think of writing as a career. And they don’t think of it as something that you do as an art, or whatever you want to call it, in a cheesy way. It is inherently cheesy to think about it like that, because you’re like, well, I’m not painting some masterpiece. But for me it was important to enjoy what I was writing and to enjoy the process of writing.”
This absolutely insane takedown of a Gaurdian in Zelda: Breath of the Wild.
Remember when I said that I yelled from a rooftop about my greatest fear of ending up alone? Well, I was playing a game called We’re Not Really Strangers. The day after I sent that into your inbox, my inbox was hit with this video of people playing it right down the street from my home in Santa Monica. Seemingly, just weeks before the world stopped hugging each other.
Took a minute for this to get good and then at 3 minutes I got nauseous. Worth the watch. I wonder if there’s a Strava for parkour?
My friend Nikita’s tweet, which sums up my general outlook on life, especially in the 2020s.
The Sopranos. Recently started binging and baby, I’m hooked. So much more to come re: my feelings about this show. Also @yungwatergun is *chef’s kiss*.
And now for some editorializing.
Notes on the center of the universe
I honestly hate this section. I feel a responsibility to use this space wisely because it’s taking up space in your precious inbox. If you’re actually reading it, then it’s also taking up precious space in your mind for some non-zero amount of time. This time is not to be fucked with. But I’m also starting to, albeit cautiously, believe the conspiracy theory that the unsolicited things people tell me about this newsletter might actually be true. One such friend told me he doesn’t read newsletters, “but yours feels like reading Vogue” and that got me going.
I was catching up with a friend this past week who recommended an episode of Brene Brown’s podcast where she interviews Tim Ferris and Dax Shepard. Brene kicks off by asking which bumper sticker Dax and Tim wish they could self identify with. Dax picked, “What other people think of you is none of your business” because he is all too often concerned with what others think of him. I hear you Dax. Then Tim jokes, saying some days he wonders, “Why is the entire world right now following a to-do list, top of which is “fuck up my day”? What is going on? How did I miss this broadcast?” Quite funny, but Tim also follows up saying “…that [type of] thinking is overestimating your importance in the world.”
On the opposite end of the spectrum, and I beg you to bear with me, I also cracked open Nietzsche’s, Beyond Good and Evil. A few pages in, Nietzsche mentioned Copernicus, who as we recall from 7th grade science class, discovered that the earth is not in fact the center of the universe.
“For while Copernicus has persuaded us to believe, contrary to all the senses, that the earth does NOT stand fast, Boscovich has taught us to abjure the belief in the last thing that "stood fast" of the earth—the belief in "substance," in "matter," in the earth-residuum, and particle-atom: it is the greatest triumph over the senses that has hitherto been gained on earth.”
I’m still figuring out what the other 19 pages are trying to convey, but I got to thinking about self importance. Contemplating what Nietzsche said and how it related to me, which is to wonder how much of the roots of our culture and thought is tied up in the idea that up until 1514 (and more like the 17th century when we finally accepted the heliocentric model of the universe) we believed ourselves to be the literal center of the god damn universe? Like having divorced parents, this has to have fucked us up somehow — even if we can’t put our finger on exactly how.
Imagine the magnitude of the revelation necessary for our species to relinquish an ounce of our self-centeredness? I doubt most of us have considered the idea that mankind may not exist at some point in time. Better yet, that that conclusion is completely normal and par for the historical course of many living creatures. There’s nothing quite like the gradual extinction of our species to remind us of our relative unimportance. How would we live if we deeply acknowledged this fact? What would change about society if we accepted that our 100 year (if we’re lucky) lifetime, could be best used in service of mankind as a species, rather than our own individual preferences?
Anyway, about 40 mins in, Brene gets to the part that spurred my friend to recommend the podcast in the first place. Dax shares a story about a number of arguments he got into with his wife, Kristen Bell, in which he’d belittle her service work in Africa. He recalls how he’d show her the logical argument of why her work was moot or even harming the communities she was allegedly helping. He eventually realizes that his arguments, though he’s technically right in some cases, are just displaced anger stemming from his fear of Kristen putting her work above her companionship with him. So he tells her this. It goes well. Need I remind you, sharing your genuine fears with someone close to you often results in a stronger connection, rather than a departure of that person from your life, which seems to be the primary fear. This, in so many words, is just asking for what you’re worth.
Between Friedrich Nietzsche and Nicolaus Copernicus to Brene Brown and Dax Shepard, no single cohesive thought emerged. Rather than ramble on in a fruitless effort to tie up loose ends, I’ll leave you with this. Nothing really matters and our individual, if not the entire species’, existence is incredibly unimportant, butttttt we also have the power to make humanity a little more (a la Dax Shepard via vulnerability with his wife) or a lot more (a la Nicolaus Copernicus via the position of the sun in reference to earth) manageable for the rest of us. So, don’t waste your shot.
That was too much to text.
Too Much To Text is a weekly brain dump written by Nina Stepanov. She also wrote this little blurb but she wrote it in 3rd person, so it sounds more official. If you like what’s happening here, share it with a friend or your parents. Parents love Nina.
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